Celebrate the Square Pegs As We Leave the Round Holes Behind
celebrating my square corners
After the rush of the holidays, January can be a welcome peace. Well, for parents, it is! (LOL) For schools, it’s the beginning of the rest of the school year! With 2024 brimming with possibilities and opportunities, I am eager to jump in! Before diving headfirst into each new year, however, I try taking a moment to reflect on the past year – noticing those nourishing moments that I want to continue into the new year, and identifying any unhelpful experiences that I can leave behind.
I found 2023 filled with countless changes (Hello - vlogast!), challenges (Have you ever tried to make a vlogcast? It’s hard, ya’ll!), exciting projects with tight timelines, celebrations, and travel to see family and friends across the country and around the world. All of this was nourishing – even the hard stuff – and I’ll keep it all in 2024!
I did have to say goodbye to a volunteer experience that I hoped would nourish me, but instead left me feeling depleted and devalued. I was a square peg, trying to fit into their round hole. This doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with my squareness or the roundness of their circle. We just didn’t fit together. Squishing up my corners to fit into their circle was a fast track to self-doubt, confusion, and misery. And, while I’m not a quitter, recognizing and accepting that this act of service wasn’t serving me has been an opportunity for me to discern where I do belong, and spend my free time serving there.
In Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown describes the difference between fitting in and belonging. Trying to be a square peg in a round hole requires you to squish up your corners and fit in. You’re not being true to yourself, and you don’t really belong. Belonging is where you want to be. Belonging is when you get to have your square corners and feel affirmed, welcomed, and a part of the group. Through my work, I actively create spaces where all can truly belong, from my consultant colleagues to my clients to our students and families. Together, we disrupt barriers to belonging because we don’t want folks to squish up their corners to fit in. We want them to feel welcomed as their authentic selves and included in all aspects of the school community, with a sense of true belonging.
And this leads me to those nourishing moments of 2023 that I am carrying high into 2024. What sticks out for me as a driving force behind my passion, and my approach to working in schools and youth-serving organizations, is the constant urge to do better at bringing people into the center and helping them feel the sense of belonging within a community that wants to see them thrive … as caregivers, educators and students. Together, we can celebrate each other’s square corners, and work to create systems that match them. I am bringing into 2024 a renewed commitment to disrupt systems that push people out and create more that welcome, include, and affirm the diversity of humanity and the brilliance that this diversity brings to our schools and communities.
Happy New Year! Let’s do this!