Saving Space for Yourself
Taking in a Parisian sunset
2022 is nearly behind us. Again, that seems hard to believe. For me, this was a year of empty-nest-induced travel, exciting business growth, and carving out time to connect back with myself. Full disclosure - I didn’t do very well on that last one. It’s hard! I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve stepped away from work only to end up in a meeting because “it had to be today” or “it’s just one hour.” (This is often the life of a consultant.) Here’s the (annoying) thing – trying to balance work with my own needs simultaneously meant I wasn’t giving my best to either! For most of my travel this year, I worked while I was away. I found myself coming home from trips feeling further behind, stretched, and tired than before I left.
I finally decided to put my foot down with myself and set a boundary! I had the opportunity to visit family and spend time with friends in Europe this fall. I decided to go fully offline – while peeking at my emails now and then. Then, I got an email from a team member with the subject line: “Do not open this in Paris." I laughed (out loud, in a cafe), and a rush of relief came over me. I spent the rest of my trip in full vacation mode. I visited so many art museums, slept as late as I wanted, ate all the escargot, and spent time just sitting and enjoying the sunshine. When I got home, my inbox was full - no point denying that, but I was also full of energy and ready to tackle it! I felt reinvigorated for my business and my clients, and I was able to dive in more effectively and fully commit my time to each of them.
This got me thinking about the idea of rest, or saving space. We throw the term "self-care" around a lot these days, and I think we have it wrong. Self-care doesn’t have to look like a massage, a three-week vacation, or even a bubble bath at the end of the week. It can definitely be all of those things, but assuming that it needs to be a grand event or moment also assumes that we all have the flexibility to accommodate either. In today’s busy world - many don’t have the flexibility, capacity, or the resources to fully invest in the “self-care” we see on social media. So what do we do? As an alternative, I’ve decided to invest in saving space instead of self-care.
Saving space for myself means understanding that we all need rest (even if it’s just five minutes). It’s allowing yourself to ask for help from coworkers and friends when you feel overwhelmed. Most importantly, it’s giving yourself the same grace, empathy, and compassion you give to others in your circle. As someone who also believed that doing nothing was laziness, I can assure you now that it’s not. Resting is not failure, nor is it time poorly spent. Instead, saving space is allowing yourself to rest and knowing that you are worthy of that time and that rest. Finally, it’s being OK with saying “No” and honoring your own boundaries without judgment.
I hope that you can devote a few minutes (or more) to saving space this holiday season. As educators, you give so much of yourself to others, and your passion is evident in all your work. It’s hard to step away! But you are worthy of time to rest and the care you give your schools. I promise (speaking from the experience of doing it wrong more than once) that when you return, some issues will still be there, and others will have resolved on their own without your involvement. AND, you’ll find yourself better equipped to handle situations and more satisfied with your environment.